I’m not. It’s an uncomfortable fact for both of us, that this copy really exists for me, not you. I’m not trying to be a jerk about this; I just want to set your expectations right from the outset.
I used to feel beholden to my blog (not particularly often as you can tell by my blogging frequency), like a diary with a daily quotient that had to be met, but not anymore. I write here when I feel like it and frankly when I have the time. Forgive my selfishness. It’s not that I don’t care about you (gentle reader), it’s that I don’t think catering to you will make this any more interesting. Maybe it’s tough love. I would like to pretend that I am independent and cavalier enough that I just don’t give a flip, but that isn’t true. I want to be liked as much as the next human. But it isn’t very likable to go around trying to be liked. In the end, you just have to do your thing and if it resonates with someone else, that’s awesome. If not, no biggie there either.
Here’s the thing, I think there are a bunch of you writers out there in the same boat.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE writing. I write every day (just not here).
I recently articulated something similar to myself. In my professional circles, I have many relationships that I value. But I don’t value any of them enough to forgo making my contribution in the way I believe is best. One of the things that has been good for me in my career that a long time ago, I was out of work for a substantial amount of time. Months and not years, if you are curious. After going through that, I was boldened. Since that time I have never been afraid of being fired. I don’t kowtow to anyone or suffer manipulation in my partnerships or work roles as a result of fear of being fired. This has allowed me to do MUCH better work and make a stronger contribution in all of my roles since.
The new thing that happened is that I realized that I was committed enough to doing what I believed to be right that I was not only happy to risk being fired, but happy to risk relationships that couldn’t withstand me working at my best. As I stated in an interview recently, I don’t get out of bed in the morning unless it is to try to change the world. I’m not saying I hit that goal all the time… or even very often if I think about it. But I’m striving for it every single day.
Commitments have a cost. Commitments mean you cannot accommodate everybody. Some things have to be sacrificed if you want to make commitments. And I’m at peace with those sacrifices. I’m good with it. I’m not going to fret, or stress… I’m just going to keep getting up everyday hoping to change the world.